today, i begin my journey home. i have no idea what awaits me there. maybe that’s a lie. i know of a few things that are certain:

1. time travel and jet lag
2. badminton at 5:30am with nicole and others?
3. laundry and packing
4. tennessee
5. tears
6. reunions
7. noise
8. tea
9. long bike rides
10. pho

here are a few things i wish were certain:

1. sam’s sushi
2. a job
3. school
4. my future plans
5. a visit with my mother
6. pumped up bike tires
7. sleep
8. a reunion with casey mcbride
9. sua chua nep cam
10. rest

it’s been exactly 2 months since i left the states. everything has changed. everything is different. jean no longer lives in the bunk below. instead she lives thousands of miles away. i think change is easier to deal with, even welcomed, when it is gradually introduced. i’ve been living in my own little world for 8 weeks now. transitioning back will be difficult and i’ll be honest, i’m a bit nervous about my return.

on a more positive note, japan was wonderful! koji and mamamoto took such good care of me. i wish i knew how to truly express my appreciation. koji, if you are reading this, i want to say, “thank you so much!!!!!! i don’t really think you are a liar. i think you are wonderful and i promise to never say your full name in public ever again.”

anyway, Japanese food is beyond delicious. my favorite was probably okonomi yaki and then closely followed by ramen. why is food so delicious everywhere but in the usa? maybe sam’s is the exception. there are so many endearing things about japan. there is a peacefulness that i can’t really explain. i’m sure it has something to do with the lack of noise. i walked around this park the other day while koji was working and found myself drawn to a tiny bench. i sat there for a long time and heard nothing but birds and the sounds of water. maybe you are saying to yourself , “she was probably alone.” NO! i was not alone. i was surrounded by kids and old men playing chess. i wonder if children are taught volume control in elementary school. maybe we should try something like that in america, especially Philadelphia.

well, it's time to board my plane. see you all in another life

under the net!

in less than 2 weeks, i will be leaving Hanoi. my time here is coming to an end. 2 months is such a short amount of time. it took a month to settle back into life here, and now that i am finally readjusted, i must prepare my heart for departure. it’s amazing the things you can see clearly when you venture into the unfamiliar.

Vietnam always seems to pull and stretch me in ways i never thought possible. i have successfully disciplined myself to get out of bed at 5:15 every morning to play badminton. at first, i had difficulty staying awake past 6:30. i would play badminton and then go back to bed. now, i am able to stay awake and actually enjoy my mornings. it feels good. i must confess that my motivation for getting out of bed is directly related to the people i spend my mornings with. nu, my one and only punctual friend, is always waiting for me at exactly 5:30am. huong and phuong show up next. together we sleep-walk down the street to meet up with xuan, phan, and sometimes phuong anh. we grab a seat on a step and watch the fan ladies dance. they are beautiful. when the weird, instrumental version of Love Potion Number 9 begins, we take our cue and begin to play badminton. it’s the perfect way to start our day.

there are so many things i wish to share, especially with my mother. she has shown signs of extreme curiousity about my life here. too bad we can’t connect our minds like deanna troy and her mother in star trek the next generation. today was another wonderful day. i made some delicious iced tea using my free sample of tra man. huy picked me up for lunch and we ate at our usual bun cha place. i met my class at 1:15 for a party in the park. huong and i counted the couples making out. we feasted on fruit and other tasty treats. i tutored some lovely ladies after dinner and then met with nu and phan. together we attempted to correct some English translations of songs written in Vietnamese. a Russian professor at this university stopped me the other day and asked if i would help him correct his English. he is not only a Russian professor, but also a composer. we weren’t too successful with the translations. we were able to figure out that he meant “violet flower” and not “violent flower.” that’s pretty much as far as we got. ha.

oh geez. i should be in bed. goodnight

thai binh

it's amazing how the simple things will change your life forever.

this past weekend was unlike anything i could have ever imagined. i took a short little trip to the province of thai binh. i went with my dear friends, nu and phan, to visit their families for about a day and a half in their village (i uploaded a few pictures on flickr). i had no idea what to expect. i have never felt more welcomed and loved. basically the entire village invited me into their homes for tea and fruit. and that is how i spent most of saturday. we ended the night with a trip to the local "bar in the field." it's not what you are thinking. the bar consisted of some plastic tables in the middles of a field. we ate yogurt with ice and drank mineral water. the moon was so bright that no lights were needed. i could spend hours trying to describe this weekend but i don't have the time or the energy. i'm exhausted and in need of some sleep.

i am forever changed.

mama says there'd be days like this...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/kristenwenttovietnam/

joy and jubilee

what a glorious day! it's 11pm and i am exhausted.

toxical rain

last week was a rough one. however, things began to improve saturday night. i spent the evening biking around ha noi (on a bike 2 sizes too small, i might add) with my dear friend nu. we started out in my dinh, where traffic wasn't too chaotic. we made our way around the soccer stadium and headed into the city. on the way we ran into phan. phan had been nice enough to let me borrow his bike. to return the favor, i decided to give him a lift home. after dropping off phan, nu and i headed toward the ho chi minh mausoleum. the sun was setting and it was finally cooling down. nu showed me a secret back way home. at this point, most every way is a secret one to me. for dinner we readily decided on bun cha. i convinced nu that i knew of a great place and that i could get us there easily. however, in the back of my mind i wasn't so sure. we were coming from the opposite direction and i had never really paid much attention when huy and i would go there for lunch. i put on my best "confident" face and took the lead, weaving in and out of traffic. after 20 minutes of searching for this hidden bun cha place, we were ready to admit defeat and head home. as we turned our bikes around, i heard an annoyingly familiar voice! it was the bun cha man! we had found the place! i'll try to take a picture next time i eat there. anyway, nu and i parked our bikes and consumed a most delicious dinner.

over the weekend some changes took place. i was informed that my class would no longer meet at 8am. starting on monday, we would meet from 1:30-4:30pm. let's just say that this news thoroughly excited me. i needed a change and i got one! no more going to bed early. no more worrying about lesson plans. if i don't finish them at night, i can always finish them in the morning. oh! i could go on forever about the advantages of having class in the afternoon, but i won't. monday rolled around and i was feeling good. i woke up early to say goodbye to sandy because she was leaving for the states that night. we ran some errands and on the way home i had the most delightful conversation with my taxi driver, in vietnamese. i didn't speak much but i could understand most of what he was saying and responded appropriately. class was a riot! over the weekend i had purchased a piggy bank. my students didn't think i was serious when i said that i would start charging them money for speaking in vietnamese or for not doing their homework. they now know that i wasn't joking. i made about 12,000 vnd. maybe i shouldn't say "i made." it's more like, "we made." i informed the class on friday that we would be having a kick-butt, end of the summer party. those who broke the new rules would be funding it! haha. after class, nu, phan, and i played some fierce badminton for an hour. my joy had finally found its way back!

today was a continuation of steady improvement. linh met me after class and took me to west lake. he took me to a part that i have never seen before. it started to pour soon after he picked me up. in typical vietnamese fashion, we pulled over to the side of the road and threw on paper-thin rain jackets. when we finally reached west lake, we took them off and rode around. the rain was quite refreshing. i'm pretty sure that linh wouldn't agree, but that's ok because he is always wrong. today was the first time that i actually wanted to take pictures. i made a few unsuccessful attempts. i'm sorry mom, blame it on the rain!

tomorrow, i will once again rise at 5am to play some badminton and then watch the old ladies do their fan dances. maybe this is a suitable activity for me.

mu bao hiem

i finally broke down and purchased a few treasures today. i met linh for lunch and together we went shopping for new helmets! not only did linh have language on his side, but also charm…or so he said. my hopes were high! however, when it came time to bargain prices, my dear friend dropped the ball. you win some, and if you’re a foreigner, you get ripped off some. ha! i don’t think we really got ripped off. i just think that we could have gotten a better price. i was reminded of a dream i had last night. i woke up so angry. in my dream, my mother was visiting me in Vietnam. i took her out for lunch. i ordered 2 banh mi thit nuong (Vietnamese hoagies) from this little café. we sat, ate, and talked. when it was time to pay, i asked the lady how much we owed. she looked at me quite seriously and said, “360,000 VND.” i was shocked. normally they cost about 8,000—10,000 VND/sandwich. i gave her the money and stormed off. i hate it when my dreams trick me. i spent about 15 minutes this morning trying to talk myself out of being angry.

everyone is heading back to the U.S. sunday night. i’m not. weird!

hey mom, here is a pictures for you. i love you!

hue out there...

i was going to head to hue this weekend with a friend but, as usual, plans changed. it was decided the night before we were suppose to leave that this weekend would not be a suitable weekend to go. i'll be honest, i feel a bit relieved. i usually spend my saturdays reading and correcting my students work. if i had gone to hue, i would have had to do all my reading and corrections on a train. i wasn't exactly excited about that idea.

it's now saturday night and i must say, postponing the trip was a brilliant idea. i was able to float through my day. i can't remember the last time that i was able to floate through a day. i woke up...walked around my room...ran into thanh...ate some lunch...corrected some papers...took a sweet motorbike ride with huy and thanh...played some ping pong...played some volleyball...drank some sting dau...corrected some more papers...talked with nu...sat on a bench...attempted to speak some vietnamese...and smiled!

my camera is broken...i need to dig out the one that my brother so generously donated to me before i left. i am not sure what i want to take pictures of. my mother keeps hounding me (in a loving way, of course) for pictures. the only pictures i feel like taking are of people (my dear friends) whose names she will never be able to remember OR even pronounce. however, i feel awkward asking them to stop and strike a pose. maybe i will kick myself when this summer is over and i am lacking evidence of my time spent in vietnam. maybe i will buy a sweet bike helmet here to replace my non-existent photos. or better yet, maybe i will take a picture of my sweet new bike helmet and post it here. honestly, ha noi has some of the most amazing helmets i've ever seen. my favorite is probably the one that resembles a baseball cap. i want to go ahead and thank the vietnamese government for that one. who knew that passing a helmet law would result in the creation of a helmet fashion industry? there are even accessories that can be purchased. so maybe your helmet isn't exactly beautiful. that's ok. we can fix that. all we have to do is head down to the local helmet shop and pick up a helmet hat. we've got your florals, your prints, your solids...you name it...we've got it!

life is good.

p.s. how the heck do these people play sports in sandals? it's like they float on air.
p.p.s the word of the day is "float," in case you were wondering!

nuoc chanh leo (X2)

i'll be honest, i haven't had the time or the energy to update this in the past few days. it seems that every free moment is spent recovering or resting from the not-so-free moments. this class i am teaching requires a lot of work. i spend my saturdays in my room studying, correcting, grading, and preparing. sometimes it can be quite overwhelming. however, i really enjoy my time in the classroom. my students are so smart. i'm getting to know them better day by day! the more i learn the more i love them! i am a bit nervous that boredom will soon set in. i'm really stretching my imagination and squeezing out whatever creative juices i have. today we ended class with a little game of MAFIA. success! i was actually quite surprised by the outcome. my students took the game and ran with it. i need to find more activities that will produce those same results...

anyway, i want to share a little something with you. i live on the 3rd floor of building A-11 with a bunch of people from laos. they may be the most warm and welcoming people i have ever met. there is this sweet woman i plan on spending my sunday evenings with. she will destroy anyone and everyone in table tennis. i have yet to play her. i keep making excuses. haha. anyway, i just want everyone to know how thankful i am to be here. there are days where i feel lonely, overwhelmed, and frustrated. it's usually on these days that i run into her and my whole attitude is transformed.

i'll try to write more later. i need to sleep off this headache

thu tu (wednesday)

"thunder. the thunder is rumbling!"

i have been in ha noi for exactly one week. out of those seven days it has rained 3 of them. oh glorious rain, you wash away the dirt, you trample the heat, you bring growth! i can't help but offer up praise. i am at peace...at least for now.

my days are becoming more and more strange as well as more and more normal. you may ask yourself, "is that even possible?" the answer is "YES" ...if you are a foreigner living in vietnam. today my hungry overcame my shyness. i hesitantly walked downstairs and into the cafe located next to my hostel. the owners, a husband and wife, came to greet me. we have become familiar with the help of my good friend huy. i attempted to order some rice and rau muong (a vegetable). after about 5 minutes of broken english and vietnamese i followed them into the back room (where i ate lunch and dinner everyday last summer) where i was invited to consume lunch with them. this back room isn't exactly a part of the cafe. it's actually their living room. this family had offered up their living room last summer so that the american teachers could eat in comfort. i don't know how i feel about that. i'm still trying to process it. they basically sacrificed their own living/eating space for us twice a day. weird. i feel somewhat ashamed. it was an unnecessary luxury.

this afternoon i saw dinh, my good friend who lived under the stairs last summer. he was the gentle and somewhat quiet one. i would say that out of all of them, dinh was the one i became closest with. he is a very good man. i was spending the afternoon with huy and his little cousin, bao, when i heard my name. i turned around and there stood dinh dressed in fancy pants and a nice shirt carrying a briefcase. he was "hunting for a job." as i turned around i was met with a giant smile. i'm sure there was one plastered on my face as well. what a joyous reunion!!!!!!!! we talked for hours about life, last summer, and the future while drinking sting dau. what a surprisingly beautiful afternoon!

my days aren't always that beautiful. i realized the other day that i haven't been taking very many photographs. in fact, i've only taken pictures of my students with their name tags, a tactic i use to learn names quickly. i am conflicted. i feel that when i tote around my camera, i become that annoying tourist...trying to document the weirdness i am unaccustomed to. i just want to live a normal life for 2 months. ha! i can't believe i just said that. i will never be able to live a normal life, not as long as i have red hair, white skin, green eyes, and more than 3% body fat.

before i end this update, i must comment on 2 things, electricians and the communication network here in vietnam.

i sat on a bench in the courtyard this afternoon with dinh and nhan watching an electrician balance on a piece of metal (or maybe wood) 1 foot by 3 inches wide. he must have been at least 30 feet in the air. i watched him for about 45 minutes as he crouched there fixing random wires. being an acrobat must be a job requirement. i was in awe!

and now i want to discuss the communication network in vietnam. i used to be annoyed by how quickly information, complaints, and gossip traveled. it's taken me 2 summers and about 4 days to realize that i can use this to my advantage. if i need something taken care of, i mention it in passing to a friend or a student. within a day i can expect results. for example: i don't currently don't have internet access in my room. however, i know that the possibility is there. so this afternoon i mentioned something about it to huy. his response was something like, "don't worry about it. i will take care of it." huy doesn't even live on this campus. haha. tomorrow i will mention how i can't cook at night because it is too dark in my back room. the light bulbs are burned out.

oh geez. it is past my bedtime. goodnight!

met qua

today was suppose to be a day of rest. i found my way to the bao san hotel to meet with fellow believers. my mind drifted. i thought about my parents...philadelphia...family ...teaching...teisha...maps... as you can see, i had some difficulty focusing. around 1:30 pm i met up with some good friends of mine. as we made our way around hanoi (via motorbikes) i tried to create mental maps...just in case. by the time i was dropped off i reeked of motor exhaust. as i walked up to my room i was greeted by chien with my toefl book. i could now begin working on my lesson plans. however, by this time i was thoroughly exhausted. my eyes kept closing as i tried to sift through the pages. there was only one solution that i could think of. MATE PLEASE! the night ended with one of my past students stopping by with 2 of his friends. we talked for about two hours! and now i am beyond exhausted and desperately need some sleep. i start teaching tomorrow. i am slightly nervous. wish me luck!

mo hoi (sweat)

oh boy. what an interesting 2 days this has been. and to think that this is only the beginning. it seems like every couple of hours or so i am caught off guard with surprise reunions. the most recent being thanh. he lived under our stairs last summer. he forgot most of his english so we conversed with the help of a dictionary. i thoroughly enjoyed it. i was forced to speak vietnamese...or at least try. i've found that i give up easily if i know the other person can speak english. i hope to break this habit immediately.

tonight it is raining and i feel great.

tomorrow i hope to purchase some food. it seems that i am too shy to eat alone. i'm afraid people won't understand or that they will just stare and talk about me as i eat. i am feeling slightly insecure. oh geez. i hope that i will someday look back on this and laugh.

my life is so weird. i will attempt to capture it on my camera and post pictures!

back in time

wassssup! i made it. i am back in hanoi at dai hoc su pham. these past 3 days have been a blur. i haven't slept much but that's the sacrifice i'm willing to make...for now. this summer is going to be VERY different from last summer. i was nervous at first but now i'm beyond excited. i'll update more tomorrow or maybe this weekend. i need some sleep. MET QUA!

tam biệt!

here is my address is vietnam. please use it often

c/o Kristen Ailing
International Relations Office
Hanoi National University of Education
136 Xuan Thuy, Cau Giay, Hanoi, Vietnam
Phone (84 4) 7547101

my monday motivational memo?

...i hope.

i still get overwhelmed by the internet from time to time. there are so many things that i wish to share with my (two) friends (who actually read this). figuring out a way to express them has become quite difficult.

yesterday i had an interesting conversation with a friend. he informed me that i was crazy and that i couldn't fool anyone. at first i thought he was joking but as i stared him in the eyes i realized that he was not. he sincerely believes that i am crazy. i asked him how he knew. his response went something alone the lines of this...

"we are all one, whether you realize it or not. you can't say to the judge 'your honor, it was my left hand that committed the crime. it's my left hand that is crazy...not me.' you just can't. we are all one.

i thought about this and the body of Christ. do i take better care of one part of my body over another? not unless it's sick and/or needs extra attention. i'm pretty sure that i don't play favorites when it comes to my elbows vs my knees. are we really Christ's body here on earth? and if so, why do i show partiality towards certain parts of Christ's body. why are those parts usually the healthy, vibrant ones? and why do i ignore/avoid the sick ones...? maybe i don't really believe that we are all one. maybe that's where i need to start.

clarifying cumbersome characteristics

kromber: feeling deeply dissatisfied coupled with an intense desire to stop time. symptoms include lack of focus, loneliness, daydreaming, constant brainstorming, and a feeling of suffocation and/or entrapment.

the kromber girl found herself on the interweb purchasing a one-way ticket to iceland while contemplating ways to live voluntarily as a mute.